


Dreams Still Remembered

by GooseWhiskers



Series: Hey Look, Blue Soup! [11]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Drama, Established Relationship, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Infertility, Marriage, Post-Canon, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-09 12:51:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18917395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GooseWhiskers/pseuds/GooseWhiskers
Summary: When the obvious symptoms of radiation sickness... don't end up being caused by radiationat all,Piper suddenly finds her life turned on its head. This wasn't supposed to be possible. ShetoldBlue it wasn't possible. And now? What is this going to mean for them?





	1. A Truth Uncovered

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure unadulterated self-indulgence and I hope you like reading it as much as I liked writing it x'D

Feeling naked without her coat, Piper rubbed her arms for warmth and wondered why this wasn’t over already. It was unseasonably cold for October in the Commonwealth, and a deep chill pervaded the crudely-dug cellar of Diamond City’s only doctor office. Saline and iron saturated the stale air, battling for supremacy at the expense of her nose.

“List your symptoms.” Sun demanded, _again._

Piper grimaced at his mechanical tone. “Nausea, fatigue, bleeding. I threw up into a bucket this morning, _d’you need to see that too_?” Her tongue sparked like a live wire. They weren’t uncommon complaints, and her stomach was teetering precariously on the verge of another spill. “C’mon, Doc. Is it that hard to figure out I’ve got radiation sickness?”

 _“It can be."_ He clipped back, grabbing one of her hands and pinching down on a finger.

Piper scowled.

“Capillary refill is appropriate.” He muttered upon letting go. His brow wrinkled heavily.

 _“Meaning?”_ She probed with a huff.

“Meaning I do not believe there is a significant amount of internal bleeding. That, along with the other indicators…” Sun drifted off, checking her gumline and inspecting the corners of her eyes a second time.

“Psh, _what_ then?” Piper’s brow furrowed, “You don’t - think it’s radiation?”

Sun’s continued silence was answer enough as he took her pulse and squinted up towards the dirt ceiling.

The uncertainty quickly became intolerable.

“Well don’t leave me hanging here, Doc.” She jaunted, leaning forward on the cot. “Parasites? Rabies? God, please don’t be parasites.” She’d seen bloatfly maggots carve holes through the underbellies of fully-grown brahmin. Witnessing was disgusting enough. No thank you.

“No, no. Nothing like that.” Sun waved the concern away, “Though it does bear asking about your drug habits. Any recent visits to Solomon, or perhaps less, hm - _reputable_ sources? Any substance which might bring about unpleasant side effects.”

As if she didn’t know. “It’s not chems.”

Sun’s lip quirked. He entwined his fingers, weighing his next words, “What about contraceptives?”

“Pfa! - _no._ ” Piper rolled her eyes. Fertility was a commodity in the wasteland. Assuming she could’ve even gotten her hands on a regular supply of birth-control that wasn’t straight up poison - there was hardly a need. Apparently he wanted to be extra thorough about the possibility of her being drugged.

She huffed. “I’m not tripping out or eating anything weird. At least, not weirder than usual. Although I suppose someone could be slipping it in my evening drinks without me knowing it.” Not entirely unprecedented.

“Well that is certainly worth considering. Though I suspect your symptoms would be more consistent in that case. Either following your consumption - which would be obvious… or chronic - which they are not.”

“Right. So- _o_. We done here? Hook me to an IV already and let’s get this over with.” She grimaced.

“You are not sick with radiation poisoning, Mrs. Wright.”

She stared at him, brow furrowing.

“ _Or_ parasites. In fact I suspect you are not sick at all.”

Piper guffawed mirthlessly, “Right, these are just the healthy _everyday_ pains of life in the Commonwealth.”

With a shake of his head, Sun procured a needle and scrubbed it clean, ignoring her snark. “You and your husband are intimate, I presume? And have been regularly within the past few months?”

_“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”_

“A great deal. Potentially.”

As Sun waited, Piper let out an uncomfortable huff, fixing him with an aggressively irritable stare. “...Yes. Okay? And he’s clean too. Probably cleaner than anyone else out there.” Hell, Blue didn’t even drink anymore.

Sun raised a brow. “I see.” Something in his voice sent needles through her fingers. “And - when was your last cycle?”

She scoffed. Loudly. “Are you kidding…?”

Then the preposterous magnitude of his insinuation hit. Piper frowned sharply as a cold knot of anxiety formed in her gut. “...You’re  _kidding_ , right? _”_

“Not at all. We’ll need to run a test to be _certain,_  but at this juncture I would confidently estimate you to be anywhere from six to eight weeks along.”

Her grimace cracked. “Six to eight weeks _what.”_ She demanded, grabbing Sun’s forearm white-knuckled. Because she had an idea - but she  _must_ be mistaken. “What _exactly_ are you saying?”

“Pregnant. I’m sorry if that was uncl-”

“T- _ha_ \--! _N-nuh-nu_ -no.” She released his arm, leaning back on the cot. Faced with such a ridiculous diagnosis, all she could do was laugh.

Sun straightened his sleeve with a faint huff. “Excuse me?”

“I can’t be prga- aha… see, _that’s not possible_ because I’m- I _can’t._ I’m not - not  _able._ ”

“Ah…” In spite of what was very obviously a poor attempt at a joke on his part, Doctor Sun didn’t laugh back. He tossed a hand into the air with a decorous wave, “Yes, well. I must inform you, then, that infertility is not always a permanent condition, Mrs. Wright. A great number of things can affect it. Access to medicine, improved diet and quality of life… a healthy partner.”

He wasn’t joking.

Nausea struck with a vengeance. She buckled over to keep from _falling_ over, wrapping her arms around her stomach. Her throat was full of cotton. Gagging. _Pregnant?_

“I take it this was not intentional,” he handed her a rusted enamel bucket. “Here. If you’re going to vomit, please try not to contaminate my equipment.”

“There’s gotta be - some other explanation.” She croaked, “I mean - _gee_ , are you sure it’s not parasites?”

 

Over the next hour he answered her typhoon of questions, which did nothing to soothe her nerves, and confirmed, without a doubt, there  _was_ another life inside her. No getting around it. Pregnant.

_Pregnant._

The overwhelming panic must’ve been plain on her face, because Sun drifted off with a weak frown, “I understand it must come as quite a shock.”

“N-no I’m peachy, _really._ ” She retorted, sounding more like grated horseradish. “It’s fine! It’s - yeah. This is fine. Came in for Rad-Away, came out with a-” Piper swallowed, “ _baby_.” If her gut hadn’t been halfway up her throat she might’ve laughed again. “No, uh, h-no biggie, r _h_ - _ight?_ ”

He rested a hang on her shoulder. “It’s normal to be frightened. Take a few days to absorb the news. I’m happy to answer any further questions you might have.” He encouraged. “And you should consult with your husband.”

Sun was right. _Blue._ Blue would help her make sense of this. But, “He’s-,” she hesitated. She couldn’t exactly come out and say Nate was busy ferrying synths out of the Commonwealth. “Away on business.”

“When will he return?”

“I don’t know, three days?” _Hopefully._ Railroad ops didn’t always go according to plan. It might take weeks. God, what if she was showing when he came back? What if-

“That isn’t so long.” Sun’s optimism sounded prerecorded and it made Piper want to snap at him. Only she didn’t trust her mouth to open right at that particular moment.

He crossed the room and dug through a cabinet crowded with medicine. “In the meantime, please don’t do anything  _drastic._ No chems. No tonics. And, for the love of God, no  _coat hangers_. I would prefer not having to perform an autopsy on you. _Understand?_ ”

She shook her head weakly, grimacing at the implication. “I wouldn’t.”

“ _Good._ ” Sun handed her a bottle of pills. “For the morning sickness. And if you begin bleeding, come to see me at once. Miscarriages are still common at this stage, but other complications can be fatal if not treated quickly.”

Through the ringing in her ears, Piper wondered how any part of this could be considered anything  _except_ a complication.

 

Afterward, she faced the monumental task of crossing the city infield and back to her own house with the weight of a new reality.

Biting wind assaulted her at the door, the bustle of city life billowing about the same as it always did. Like nothing had changed. Like this was just another morning.

A trio of crows spectated from the powerlines, beady eyes scrutinizing as Piper stepped out into the street of mud and ice. She fumbled hastily to button her coat before wrapping her arms tight around her belly, curling inward as though to hide what was underneath. Her hands trembled violently and she thought she might evaporate for sheer nerves.

She couldn’t smoke. Sun had expressly warned her about cigarettes. And alcohol. _And stress._ Alongside about two-hundred other things. It was like she’d turned to glass overnight, and fear for a child she wasn’t even sure she wanted suddenly dominated every possible decision, down to the most mundane.

Two of the crows took flight as she neared, leaving her with a solitary spectator. The Institute’s Watchers were long since gone, but the black silhouette still heightened her unease. She swallowed back a mouthful of bile.

A baby. _My baby._ _Mine_ and - _Blue’s._ Impossible, unattainable, and sitting in her lap.

 _Maybe… it could be okay,_ she considered briefly, before conjuring the image of a story gone south, and her, dodging bullets with an infant strapped to her back. _No! Not a chance! No way in a million years can I do this!_

Even she wasn’t  _that_ irresponsible. And Nate - he’d never asked for this. Certainly never  _expected_ it. Sure, he had Shaun. In a lot of ways, he even stood in as a father for Natalie. But it wasn’t the same.

There was a wound underneath Blue’s affections, which Piper knew by now would never heal. A new baby, born to the wasteland, susceptible to hunger and sickness and… _mortality_. A life-changing commitment, dropped into his lap with no guarantees…  how could she even consider it, knowing all that it would mean? What it could  _cost._ It would be asking more from him than she ever had. Maybe more than he was willing to give.

She wondered if he would be angry. He wasn’t really the type but then… she’d said this was impossible. And now - what if he took to the notion she’d lied? What if this changed things between them? She desperately wished he was here now, and yet even the thought of having to tell Blue sent a surge of- Oh God, she was going to be s _-ick!_

Staggering to the side, Piper launched herself toward the bushes outside Publick Occurences. She heaved until her throat burned, spitting into the dead grass.

“Piper?” A concerned, painfully familiar voice worried.

Wincing, Piper rubbed her mouth with the back of a glove and put on the bravest face she could muster as she turned. “He- _ey_ kiddo.”

Natalie looked from her sister to the pile of disheveled foliage. Consternation wrinkled the teenager’s brow. She seemed unsure whether to rush forward.

Piper didn’t wait for Nat to make up her mind, and staggered back out of the grass. “You look like someone stole your last stick of gum” She teased lightly, trying not to wince on her way to the door.

“Didn’t you go to the doctor?”

“Ah, there you go, worrying again!”

Nat followed as Piper hurried through the front door.

“How was your interview?” Piper deflected, hanging her coat up. A hand drifted over her gut. “Did the city council have _anything_ to say worth hearing?”

Nat wasn’t letting it go so easily. Her eyes darted to Piper’s inner arm and then back to her face. “Sun didn’t give you a RadAway.”

Piper smiled automatically, and the careless gesture didn’t fool her younger sister for a moment. At nearly fifteen, Nat was getting a little too perceptive.

“What happened? Did he see you?”

Piper’s initial impulse was to bluff, even though she knew it wouldn’t work. Nat was smart enough to call her out, and familiar with the pattern besides. “Yeah - he did.” Piper sighed, grimacing a little at the burning in her throat.

“ _Well?_ ”

No ducking the question this time. Maybe for the best. Nat wasn’t a little kid anymore, and she deserved the truth.

“Nat, we, uh - we- _e_ need t’talk…”

\----

Fear would’ve been reasonable. Even jealousy, understandable. A scolding, a candid remark about how irresponsible it was, some  _swearing_ that would get her grounded - Piper was just  _waiting_ for it to come spilling out of Nat’s mouth like vinegar. Honestly, of all the responses Piper might’ve expected to come from revealing the Big News… excitement wasn’t the emotion she’d have bet on. Overall, Nat was taking it  _far_ better than her sister.

“You’ll have to stay home for a while, I guess.” Nat considered aloud, weaving her fingers in and out thoughtfully. “And I’ll have to start writing more, to keep the paper going.”

“Slow down there, kiddo.” Piper laughed weakly, “I haven’t even told Blue yet. Suppose he doesn’t - want this?”

Aha. There it was. The  _look._ Still, not where she would’ve expected it. Nat stared at Piper the way only teenagers and highbrows from the Upper Stands could: utterly convinced of her big sister’s nescience. Nat’s eyebrows pinched together. “Do _you_ want it?”

 _The Nuka-Cola question._ Piper grimaced, “I dunno yet…”

“Well. Nate definitely will.”

“Hnf. What makes you so sure?”

“It’s only obvious. First of all, he loves you. A lot.” Nat rolled her eyes. “For seconds, he rescues  _baby birds_ and took that radstag fawn to the Castle to raise as a pet. I think he’d adopt every single dog in the Commonwealth if he could.”

Piper scoffed, looking down at her stomach. “This isn’t like bringing home a puppy, Nat.”

“It’s _way_ better than a puppy.”

Her sister’s surly optimism brought a weak smile to Piper’s face. It gave her a modicum of strength to draw from, where before only bleak dread lingered. If Nat believed in this… somehow it wasn’t as scary.

The idea of motherhood still seemed entirely foreign. Incomprehensible.

Maybe it wouldn’t  _always_ be that way.


	2. A Promise Kept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate returns home, and Piper shares life-changing news.

Three days was not long enough to prepare, though Piper tried. Late that evening, Nate knocked rhythmically on her door. When she opened it he swept her into his arms and she kissed him and for a very, very brief moment, Piper forgot her crippling nerves. The euphoria was short-lived.

“Got a story for me?” She teased with a feeble smirk, tilting back to get a good look at his face.

Nate’s black hair was mess. He had a new bruise above his brow and it looked as though he hadn’t slept for a week, but his eyes were bright. Alert. He didn’t miss a damn thing. “So it’s true.”

 _“What’s true?”_ She blurted, skewered by the irrational fear that he had somehow already learned about the baby.

He considered Piper for a fraction of a second. As Nate watched her, almost warily, she was struck by how Blue’s attention seemed to click over every minuscule shift and pitch. “Danny stopped me at the gate,” he explained, “told me it looked like you might be in some kinda trouble.”

A stammer of a laugh croaked out of Piper. “N-n _o_ , it’s not like that, I--” She chewed her lip. “Y’should probably sit down.”

“Is that supposed to ease my nerves?” Nate forced a smile, “Because it doesn’t. At all.”

“I know. I…” _Get a hold of yourself, would you!_ Just say it already. Better now than later. This wasn't the kind of news that could wait. “Bl _ue-?_ What if we, uh-...” She strained, all sense of coherent thought abandoning her in an instant, “I, ah, just was thinking, _may_ be _,_ ”  Piper’s voice pitched up wildly, “what _wouldyou_ -” She clenched her fists, wrestling for control of her tongue.

“Take your time.” He snarked with a worried smirk. He sounded upbeat. He was characteristically patient - but she could see the anxiety pulsing off him in waves. They had that in common, at least.

Maybe she could walk her way up to this.

Rocking back on her heels, she took a deep breath, “You - remember, that talk we had - about what our lives would look like in ten years? Or five? And, what you said?”

“Y- _es._ ” Nate answered cautiously. “I’m not  _really_ planning to grow mutton chops and a mullet. I hope it’s not about that.”

“Nh-hmf, n _o_.” Piper giggled a little in spite of herself, the corners of a smile peeking into view.

Nate’s taut muscles unwound a fraction in response.

“It’s about… the other thing. The one about _us_.”

Whatever spark of relaxation she’d managed to provide him was stamped out in an instant.

“Okay. I’m listening.” He frowned.

Piper’s lip quirked, and she hugged her arms around her stomach. “What I’m _trying_ to ask, is -- well, what if we- _e_ \- _started a family!?_ ” Her voice cracked with high pitched static; it sounded more like dropping the punchline to a joke than a genuine question. Her exaggerated smile was forced and fearful.

Nate blinked, watching her in that overtly vigilant way of his usually reserved for South Boston after dark. He cocked his head, seeming unsure whether to take her seriously.

Dodging the question, her lover probed warily, “...What brought this on?” His fingers ribboned together, as though floating an invisible flip lighter between them. The uneven rise and fall of his vest betrayed Blue’s stiff breathing, “I thought you said you wer-”

“I _know._ Yeah, I did _._ Just, what if though? If we had the chance, would you…? Would you want that?”

“I love  _you_ , Piper. I don’t _need_ anything else.” Nate shook his head, meeting her gaze emphatically, “Whatever I said to make you think otherwise, I-”

“U-uUGH!” she seethed, fidgeting - more frustrated at herself than him. “You don’t understand.”

He leaned back, considering her for a moment before standing again. Nate moved towards her, but Piper tensed and retreated a step.

“Piper…?”

“I’m _pregnant,_  Blue.”

An apocalyptic silence hit the air. Nate’s eyes were wide and vivid in the candlelight as he reassessed her, taking in every detail of Piper’s face, lingering on the quiver of her lips before glancing down at her belly as though he might see proof of the claim. He just  _stared_. He didn’t say a word, and that was more frightening than anything he could’ve possibly uttered in response to the revelation.

“Before you ask - I found out three days ago, from Doctor Sun.” Her feet moved in time with her mouth, and Piper hacked an anxious trail back and forth across the room. “I radioed the Castle to see if maybe you’d checked in. Preston wanted to know if something was wrong and I didn’t know what to say but now you’re home and-” She let out a jittery exhale, head pounding. “I still don’t know what to say-”

She turned her head towards him sharply, “Blue, I wanna keep it.”  

His brows quirked and he shifted back. It was a discrete gesture, barely a fraction of an inch - but she saw, and her gut dropped.

“I- _I know_ how  _crazy_ , that sounds! I surprised myself, too. _Us?_ With the life we lead - bringing a - b- _ba_ by into it… _Our baby?_ ” A faint scoff escaped, “What’ve I been drinking, right? Radiation must finally be screwing with my head.” Piper gave a crippled laugh.

Nate didn’t laugh back.

She bolted ahead, heart throbbing like a frantic bird, “And it would be hard. Complicated. I know that. I know it isn’t  _simple_ and this whole thing is just an accident waiting to happen I just, maybe it - could be the good… kind of accident…? Maybe- I-if we’re willing to try we’d-”

God, she sounded ridiculous! Piper hissed in through her teeth. “Look, if… if you don’t, _if you don’t_ then… okay. We decide this together.” Despair rolled off her with each treacherous word. How foolish it would be to expect him to share the sudden impractical fancy she’d uncovered! “And it’s a big change to… _pretty much everything_ , I mean, I can’t even  _imagine…_ what you must be thinking right now -”

Stopping her pacing, she faced him outright and propped folded arms tightly around her chest. Piper felt as though she might melt into the ground. _“God,_ Blue, please say something…”

Nate hadn’t taken his eyes off her for a moment. There was a strange look on his face. She couldn’t read him.

“ _Piper…_ ” He murmured finally, walking towards her again.

Her knees turned to jelly. Tears swelled over her vision, distorting the dim room.

Distress clouded Nate’s face.  

Afraid. Of course he was afraid. Of course this was too much to ask. Of course he didn’t want  _a baby_ , the very idea of it was nothing but a promise of grief to him.

Something inside Piper was breaking.

“ _Scribbles._ ” His hands cupped gently around hers as he tilted his head and fixed her with those devastating blue eyes. “You... really thought I’d be upset?”

“... _I don’t know._ ” She hedged uneasily, looking down at their entwined fingers. “I mean, we didn’t exactly  _plan_ for this. Not that - we could’ve… But after Shaun, and - Nora…”

Nate tensed - nearly recoiled.

She’d known he would. Piper didn’t speak the name lightly, but there was nothing light about the conversation they were having now. “I thought, maybe, you wouldn’t want to have it dropped on you again. _Now._ And… well, with _me_.”

Nate hesitated, pain twisting his features. “...You’re right-”

The words were a bullet in her heart, and tears burned hot in Piper’s eyes. She’d tried to anticipate rejection. But the hit was hard. No matter how much forbearance Blue phrased it with.

“I never would have asked you for - this. It - would’ve felt selfish.” He continued, face contorting. Another earth-shattering pause.

He lifted her fingers to his lips before meeting her gaze again, entreating. “But - Piper, listen to me - nothing that happened before could ever - _ever_ \- make me regret what we have. _Surprises_ and all.”

She looked up again sharply, mouth parted as though to speak - but no words came out.

Nate smiled. Wonderfully. Feverishly. A sudden, sharp wave of excitement rolled over him, and he pulled her into a warm embrace, lifting her up with shaking hands into a spin of disbelieving laughter.  “ _Yes_. Yes, _of course_ I want this!”

He spoke with such  _certainty._

Piper clung to the corners of his vest and released a held breath which sounded very near a sob. All the tension flooded out of her as she veritably collapsed against Nate - followed by a wave of lightheadedness so intense that for a moment there was nothing in the world except her and his arms around her.

As her eyes welled up to match his, a tentative smile lit her face. “D’you mean that, Blue?” She croaked, rubbing her nose with a sniffle. “You wouldn’t lead a girl on, would ya?”

Nate stroked her hair, her cheek, her back. “I don’t know if anyone’s told you this, Mrs. Wright,” he huffed weakly, “but I am _madly_ in love with you.”

“Heh.” She giggled in stupefied relief. “You, ah... _might’ve_ mentioned that once before.”

“Never doubt it.” He held a palm to her cheek and she leaned into the touch, covering his hand with her own. Nate breathed deeply, nuzzling her as she pulled close, “It’ll be an adjustment, sure… but this- this is…  God, I could kiss you.”

She indulged him.

“Who else knows?”

“Just Nat.”

“Is she…?”

Piper nodded, “She’s excited too - if you can believe it.”

Brushing a hand through his hair, Nate glanced back at the door, “We’ll have to tell Shaun. Preston, the men will… And Deacon, when he finds out he’ll - hah! A baby. Piper! We’re going to have a… aha!”

She could’ve melted at his smile alone - but the way he laughed! It was hard to imagine falling any harder for him, and yet somehow Nate kept finding new pieces of her heart to fill. Or maybe the truth was she’d learned to love so much deeper for having him to hold. Doubting, even for an instant, seemed so foolish, now.

This baby was a gift. An unspoken prayer, answered all the same. _A promise._ It would mean changes. Who knew how many!

But she was sure now, surer than she’d ever been - Piper couldn’t wait to see where their story went next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! ;w; <3 Feedback is welcome!  
> You can check out [my tumblr](https://lookbluesoup.tumblr.com/) for doodles and character blurbs! :D


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